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The journal of an Emigrant from Florida who spent almost 5 years in Uruguay...
 

Sick and tired of being sick and tired

Posted by The Southron on June 13th, 2009

Right now I have 44 unanswered emails in my Uruguay Living/Sociedad Southron mailbox.  They remain unanswered neither because of sloth, nor lack of information.  Rather, they remain in limbo because of my health problems, which included another hospital stay, and the fact that whenever my health recovers, even a little bit, I need to deal with business issues in my real job–the company that pays for all the Uruguay programs we support.

I am sorry for all of this, and as I am still under close medical care because of the infection in my leg, I am not willing to predict any quick answers to the aforementioned emails.

In lieu of my counsel, you may want to join our open forum at www.SociedadSouthron.net, where you can gain a lot of information and answers to many questions–often from people far more qualified and experienced than I.

When I can, I will respond to my pending emails, and also reappear at the twice monthly open meetings…

Why I am not there…

Posted by The Southron on April 12th, 2009

As my patient readers know, I prefer to write about why I am here and not still living in the United States.  I write these tidbits seldom, and try to write them without venom lest I turn this blog into a battleground (even if it would be one more akin to Manassas/Bull Run where the confederacy won, that Gettysburg where we did not).

As most of the world celebrates Easter today, I let my thoughts flow freely, which is always interesting, sometimes dangerous, more often humorous and occasionally actually worthwhile.

I hope that today’s thought falls into the last of those categories.

US expatriates will know that there is an increasing attack on us by the new US Congress and Administration and, many of us believe that the US$87,000 annual earned income exclusion may be repealed.  If that happens, I believe the majority of the expatriates will simply not pay. They will never return to the US again, and, in effect, become criminals in their native land.

Then, a clear thought, like a thunderbolt on a moonless night flashed through my mind.  We are a politically persecuted minority because we choose to live outside the USA!  Moreover, being taxed by the USA at all violates the very principal on which the American Revolutionary War was fought: “No taxation without Representation!”

no-taxationThe American colonists were not represented in Parliament, hence, under the Common Law, Parliament had no right to tax them.  As non-residents, WE ARE NOT REPRESENTED IN CONGRESS!  Therefore, Congress does not have a right to tax us.

Further, the US is the ONLY major nation that taxes non-residents and further punishes expatriates–taken together, this makes us a politically persecuted minority.

Think about it!  I will be writing more about this.

How to stop inward investment: Part 37

Posted by The Southron on March 24th, 2009

One of the very best things about being resident and working in Uruguay is that everyone who pays into BPS (social security) is entitled to participate in one of the Health Insurance Plans, which I have found to be very good.  As you know, from previous articles, I use COSEM, and have been delighted with the results.

But there is a catch:  directors of corporations cannot participate in the BPS connected health insurance plans, even though they pay into BPS.  So much for socialist fairness.  Directors have to pay for private insurance–what a great way to encourage new business in Uruguay.

So, even though the owner/director pays into BPS for himself and his employees, he is barred from benefiting.  I wonder who thought this idea up:  Larry, Curly or Moe (or maybe Shemp or Curly Joe)…

However, there is a way out.  You can set up an Uruguay domestic company and then hire nominee corporate directors from outside the country.  Those directors can then give you a total power of attorney to operate the company, bank accounts etc, as an EMPLOYEE, and thus eligible for health insurance.

Another way is to set up an unipersonal, a sole proprietorship, but that has other issues.

This is one more example of why I say I love living in Uruguay but hate doing business here.  Sometimes I think the government is trying to intentionally keep Uruguay poor…

Green means Go; sometimes…

Posted by The Southron on March 14th, 2009

Driving in Uruguay can be quite an adventure, especially for the uninitiated.

265303954gxnauy_fsThe first thing you must learn is that the lines dividing the lanes are purely ornamental, and that if you insist on trying to stay in the center of what you thought was a lane of traffic, you will be an obstacle to progress.  If 5 little cars can travel alongside each other in 3 lanes, it would be selfish to try to claim a whole lane for yourself.

centroThe second thing you must learn is to drive defensively, sort of like you would going through a war zone.  Uruguayans have a congenital visual deficiency which prevents them from being able to see clearly in the mirrors on their cars, thus, they simply don’t use them.  Consequently they will blithely dart in front of you with mere inches to spare and then be truly shocked if you tap your horn or glare at them.

malvin1722Pedestrians are just a little worse than the drivers.  I have a sneaking suspicion that pedestrian fatalities are Uruguay’s secret answer to population growth.  One of my favorite pastimes is taking bets on which pedestrian is going to get run over in the striped pedestrian walkways along the Rambla.  Most of them do not have a traffic light, and the pedestrians sort of meander across the walkway in ones and twos, totally oblivious to the speeding traffic which threatens to turn them into roadkill.

Then there are the technical issues.  In most parts of the world, a solid green signal means you can go forward, turn left or turn right.  NOT HERE!

left_turn_signalA solid green signal means you can go forward or turn right, but you cannot turn left, except on a one-way street, unless there is a green arrow signal.  Otherwise, you have to continue on until you can find a left turn without a signal, hold up traffic waiting to make the turn, and then meander back towards your target.  This is especially interesting when driving in Centro where most of the streets are one way; complicated by the fact that the one way streets alternate in directions, but only more or less:  one street will go left, the next 3 will go right, than 2 will go left, etc.

Another innovation brought in by the current government is the requirement that you must drive with your headlights on at all times.  Allegedly this is a safety feature, but, since it requires more fuel to burn the headlights all the time, and since the government has a virtual monopoly on fuel importation, plus high fuel taxes, it is a secret tax on the driving public.  (Who said the socialists weren’t smart?)

But, there are good point to driving in Uruguay as well.  Where else in the world can you see on the highway virtually every model car ever made from the Model T Ford to the latest BMW?

Spring forward, fall into confusion…

Posted by The Southron on March 8th, 2009

crazyclockEarly this morning, Uruguay changed from Summer time (UYST) to standard time (UYT). Since it is fall here, we turned our clocks back 1 hour. At the same time we made that change, the US made its spring foward to daylight saving time. The total relative time shift was 2 hours, some Uruguay is now just 1 hour later than Eastern Time, instead of 3.

That was the straight forward part.

Our neighbor, Argentina, with whom we have so much interaction is still on Summer time for another week–this means that it is now 1 hour later in Buenos Aires than in Montevideo for the next 7 days. (We share the same time with our other neighbor Brazil, so there are no complications there.)

And then there is Europe.

We are now 1 hour farther away from Europe (3 hours earlier than UK time and 4 hours earlier than Central European Time (CET)), but only for 3 weeks. At that time, Europe will go off of summer time and there will be an additional hour between us.

Who said telling time was simple?

The following was sent to me by the Editor of the newsletter of the British Society of Uruguay and is posted at his request.  I plan to see it and write a review–I always wanted to be a theatre critic…

01In March a group of professional British actors come to Montevideo to stage a new play on the Battle of the River Plate, seventy years after the event. ‘The Drama of the River Plate’ will appear at the Millington-Drake Theatre, Anglo Centre, San José 1426, for four nights only, from Thursday 26 March to Saturday 28 March at 9pm and on Sunday 29 March at 7pm. All profits from the ticket price of UY$180 will go to a fund designed to bring more shows from the West End to Uruguay each year.

Photo: El País / Juan Pablo Rodríguez

Written in English and directed by Jonathan Lamb, the 70-minute work centres around the fascinating character of Hans Langsdorff, left, Captain of the Graf Spee. The actors (left to right below) are Robert Rowe, Andrew Wall and, in the role of Langsdorff, Robert Ashton; accompanied by the voices of Imelda Staunton (star of the film Vera Drake, and teacher Dolores Umbridge in the Harry Potter films), Martin Jarvis (Titanic) and Jim Carter (The Golden Compass).

Seventy years ago, in December 1939, the German pocket battleship Graf Spee and three British cruisers locked horns off South America in the opening sea battle of the Second World War. For a few breathless days the River Plate was the centre of the world. But the real story behind the battle lies in the character of one man: Hans Langsdorff, captain of the Graf Spee.

Langsdorff was a hero of the First World War. A torpedo expert, he had risen high in the German defence ministry in the 1930’s, before choosing to return to sea. He was given command of one of Germany’s latest and most powerful warships, and told to sink British merchant shipping – as long as he and his thousand men could survive. For four long months he roamed the southern oceans, sinking nine ships without causing a single death: his humane character and his code of professional honour meant that he treated his prisoners impeccably, and at least one of them became his friend. But at dawn on 13 December, Langsdorff unchained a sequence of events that cost him his ship, his prestige and, a week later in Buenos Aires, his life.

Who was this gallant, troubled man? Why did he do what he did? Why did he take refuge in Montevideo instead of an Argentine port, and why did he scuttle his ship? Why, in his bedroom in Buenos Aires on the night of 20 December, did he write his last letters, then take the honourable way out? These are some of the questions which, thanks to sponsorship from Lloyds TSB, Lloyds Private Banking and the Anglo, the play will try to answer. Tickets: 9027634/9018819.


Uruguay’s State Religion

Posted by The Southron on February 4th, 2009

It is widely published that Uruguay is the least religious country in South America, that less that 2/3 of the people consider themselves Catholic, and that unlike Argentina, in which Roman Catholicism is the State Religion, Uruguay is a secular State.

But, I beg to differ; at least in part.  Uruguay is not very Catholic, but the people here are VERY religious, and almost all of them practice what amounts to Uruguay’s State Religion (even those who are also practicing Catholics).

Need a hint?  Check out Uruguay’s flag–the emblem of its State Religion is emblazoned there….

The State Religion of Uruguay is SUN WORSHIP.  That’s right, good old fashioned (or should I say “ancient fashioned”) unabashed adoration of Sol Invictus, the unconquered Sun.

Perhaps one of the reasons for the popularity of this religion is that it has few commandments, lots of feast days, no fast days and everybody loves its required pilgrimages.

COMMANDMENTS:

I.  Thou shalt worship the Sun whenever possible, if only for a few minutes at a time between clouds or even in the dead of winter.

II.  Thou shalt wear as little clothing as the weather permits when worshiping the Sun.

III.  Thou shalt drink maté and eat bizcochos daily in honor of the Sun.

IV.  Thou shalt make pilgrimages to Punta del Este (or father East) as often as possible.

FEAST DAYS:

Any time the Sun is out, especially if you can find an excuse for not working and going to the beach instead.  Paros and huelgas (protests and strikes) are considered signs of special piety towards the flaming deity.

FAST DAYS:

Are you kidding?  Asado, chivitos and milanesas are ALWAYS appropriate.

PILGRIMAGES:

Trips Punta del Este are required as often as possible.  Special devotions are mandated every day from 15 December through the end of February.  The especially devout also make pilgrimages to Rocha whenever possible, and the ultra orthodox worship on the beaches there that are accessible only by 4 wheel drive army vehicles.

And if you think the Uruguayans are NOT serious about their religion, they even made a hole in the ozone layer so they could worship more intensely–beat that for dedication…

My Annual Clothing Care Package from Omar the Tentmaker

Posted by The Southron on December 28th, 2008

My nephew arrived for a week’s visit yesterday morning and brought with him my annual resupply of gigantic clothing from my favorite King Size Men’s Store; Omar the Tent Maker.  His motto is “if it was big enough for Goliath, it ought to fit you too”.  The only problems I have with them is that sometimes the tent canvas is a little rough for underwear or the stripes from the reused circus tents don’t get completely bleached out…All kidding aside, I was happy to get this year’s shipment because everything was two sizes smaller than last year, so I am making progress.  I have thus far lost the equivalent in kilograms or about half an average Uruguayo–that means I have about 1 1/2 to go. Read the rest of this entry »

Happy Christmas, Happy St Nicholas Day, happily confused…

Posted by The Southron on December 21st, 2008

This is the time of year when I get even more confused than usual…

This past Friday was Saint Nicholas Day for the Slavic Eastern Orthodox  Churches (like mine), but this coming Thursday is Christmas for Catholics, Greek and other non-Slavic Eastern Orthodox, and (I presume, most protestants and other Christians).  Since Uruguay is a very secular place, I am not really sure what the official celebration will be on December 25th–though I have noticed that even the most die-hard atheists here seem to “get religion” any time there is a holiday they can celebrate…

So, for those of you who view December 25th as the modern day secular celebration of Sol Invictus or Saturnalia, before you leave, when the fireworks go off, please remember that you have my best wishes for whatever holiday or non-Holiday your are celebrating.  Have a yerba maté on me…

To my Jewish friends, I wish you a Happy and Joyful Hanukkah.

And to my Christian, agnostic or otherwise neutral friends and readers, please accept my best wishes and prayers for the Happiest Christmas (on whichever date)!

“Your birth, O Christ our God has spread upon the world the Light of Knowledge.  For through it, those who worshiped the stars have learned from a Star to worship You as the Sun of Justice and to recognize you as the Orient from on High.  Glory be to thee, O Lord!

From the Christmas Tropar of the Orthodox Church

Ma Bell was cooperative compared to ANTEL

Posted by The Southron on December 16th, 2008

Every time I start to think that perhaps ANTEL isn’t so bad, they do something to remind me that they are the worst, stupidest, most difficult and least professional telecommunications company in the civilized world.  They are worse than Ma Bell when it had a monopoly–incredibly, they are even worse than ICE, the state-owned telecom from hell in Costa Rica.

Read the rest of this entry »


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