The following was sent to me by the Editor of the newsletter of the British Society of Uruguay and is posted at his request.  I plan to see it and write a review–I always wanted to be a theatre critic…

In March a group of professional British actors come to Montevideo to stage a new play on the Battle of the River Plate, seventy years after the event. ‘The Drama of the River Plate’ will appear at the Millington-Drake Theatre, Anglo Centre, San José 1426, for four nights only, from Thursday 26 March to Saturday 28 March at 9pm and on Sunday 29 March at 7pm. All profits from the ticket price of UY$180 will go to a fund designed to bring more shows from the West End to Uruguay each year.

Photo: El País / Juan Pablo Rodríguez

Written in English and directed by Jonathan Lamb, the 70-minute work centres around the fascinating character of Hans Langsdorff, left, Captain of the Graf Spee. The actors (left to right below) are Robert Rowe, Andrew Wall and, in the role of Langsdorff, Robert Ashton; accompanied by the voices of Imelda Staunton (star of the film Vera Drake, and teacher Dolores Umbridge in the Harry Potter films), Martin Jarvis (Titanic) and Jim Carter (The Golden Compass).

Seventy years ago, in December 1939, the German pocket battleship Graf Spee and three British cruisers locked horns off South America in the opening sea battle of the Second World War. For a few breathless days the River Plate was the centre of the world. But the real story behind the battle lies in the character of one man: Hans Langsdorff, captain of the Graf Spee.

Langsdorff was a hero of the First World War. A torpedo expert, he had risen high in the German defence ministry in the 1930’s, before choosing to return to sea. He was given command of one of Germany’s latest and most powerful warships, and told to sink British merchant shipping – as long as he and his thousand men could survive. For four long months he roamed the southern oceans, sinking nine ships without causing a single death: his humane character and his code of professional honour meant that he treated his prisoners impeccably, and at least one of them became his friend. But at dawn on 13 December, Langsdorff unchained a sequence of events that cost him his ship, his prestige and, a week later in Buenos Aires, his life.

Who was this gallant, troubled man? Why did he do what he did? Why did he take refuge in Montevideo instead of an Argentine port, and why did he scuttle his ship? Why, in his bedroom in Buenos Aires on the night of 20 December, did he write his last letters, then take the honourable way out? These are some of the questions which, thanks to sponsorship from Lloyds TSB, Lloyds Private Banking and the Anglo, the play will try to answer. Tickets: 9027634/9018819.

Nevertheless, we have an opportunity to do it now. We don’t need to make a choice between going to the

• Southeastron Coastal Uruguay Living in Piriapolis Party (SCULPP) OR
• Noche de las Luces in Montevideo.

I know what a Southron is, but what the heck is a Southeastron? Sounds like someone from Miami (and real Southrons know it is pronounce My-am-ma, not the Yankee version, my-am-mee).

Anyway, the Piriaoplis gathering is starting in the afternoon, and the Noche e las Luces, by definition doesn’t start until the night.

So why not do both? I am… Details on the SCULPP are at: http://www.sociedadsouthron.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=1198.

See you there!

Anyway, as the story goes, we were sitting there minding our own business when a well known face went by. I vaguely recognized him, not being much of a movie buff (the last time I went into a cinema was in 1991) and Borko and our friend immediately knew who it was–Mickey Rourke the actor.

It turns out he is here making a movie in Parque Prado( I have no idea about what) and that it was broadcast on the radio that “if you think you have seen Mickey Rourke, you have”.

With Hollywood here, the neighborhood is surely going to HELL. (I was going to say, “to the dogs”, but I LIKE dogs!)

This party is a combination of a US middle class “Sweet Sixteen” party, an upper class “Coming Out” debutante ball, and a solemn affair of State. The last time I was at something as elegant was at Ronald Reagan’s Second Inaugural Ball…

The party was held at the Hotel de Prado–an ancient hotel in Parque Prado that has been completely renovated to host affairs such at these. Its former elegance had been faithfully restored down to the details on the “gingerbread” moulding.

When we first arrived, the entrance looked a bit formidable for a wheelchair, but the parking lot traffic cops directed us to a more accessible place around back–the very same place where they trundle in the cases of beer and booze. (I might never have gotten in if this was a “dry” affair.)

Things were supposed to start at 9PM–we arrived at 9.30 and were among the first.

Everything was done perfectly. There were greeters in clown suits, who ushered people to their tables (it was just like something with Ronald McDonald, or a US National political party convention!) There was a main ball room and then a couple of side salons for the overflow crowd. Mercifully, we were seated in one of these–all the way in the back corner. This meant that I could at least hear most of what was going on, despite the dance music. Once seated, we were served a steady stream of potent potable and appetizers all the way until dinner; which turned out to be just a tiny bit later than I had anticipated.

The crowd looked to be above 200 people. My colleagues told me that there were present and former cabinet ministers in attendance–along with their personal (sometimes unrepeatable) opinion of each one.

I think things actually started around 11PM. (By that time I had consumed a goodly number of vodka tonics, so some things are a tiny bit hazy.) The band struck up “the Blue Danube” (Die Blau Donau for perfectionists) and the affair was well and truly begun. I couldn’t see much from the back–being in a wheelchair makes you shorter than anyone except midgets, tiny children, and most of the people in Central America–but I was told that the birthday girl started the affair by waltzing with each of her close male relatives–starting with the proud father. (I guess this way she gets the family out of the way and can spend the rest of the time making whoopee with her friends.) Later on, there was a 5 minute video of her life.

Then there was a lot of dancing. It started out with real music, but eventually it morphed into percussion only. At least it wasn’t rap. (It must be easier to dance to the beat of the drums if you don’t have to worry about little things like harmony and melody…)

As I recall, more or less, the starters for dinner appeared around 1AM, and the desserts around 3AM. The main course was obviously wedged in between somewhere, but, like a witness before a Congressional Committee, “I have no exact recollection of those events Senator…”

About 3.30AM things really got exciting–a troupe of belly dancers appeared. It was a real “dance of the seven veils” kind of thing right out of Aladdin and his lamp.

Shortly thereafter, being a mere gringo, I was wheeled, exhausted and half asleep, to the Land Rover and then taken home. I am certain the party went on until breakfast , and probably even later.

It was a spectacle to remember!

This will be a wonderful chance for members of our online community in Piriapolis, Punta del Este and points east, both Uruguayos and extranjeros alike, to get together. (Somebody please get on the conch shell express and let the Aussie colony east of Punta know about this—can’t have a fun party without the gang from Oz!)

Ken has graciously invited me and the UL gang (including Harry the West Highland White Terrier) to attend.

I will be bringing a supply of my books which I will give away and sign, for as long as they last.

Full details can be found at: http://www.sociedadsouthron.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=1073

The Southron, Jimbo, Mikey, Harry and the gang look forward to seeing you there.

Something more than 50 people, Uruguayos and Extranjeros piled into the “clubhouse” behind our offices for food and drink and fun. This week, we were pleased to have a magic show, featuring card tricks by Judith Ginerman, who first visited us with the English class in which she is a student–Judy has become a welcome regular ever since.

In addition to our “local” Uruguayan and immigrant friends, we also welcome visitors from as far away as Siberia.

The Open House is open to everyone and is held every Thursday night (with a possible exception around Christmas and the New Year) from about 6PM until we finally throw the last people out…

For directions and the address go to: directions.

The Termas Dayman (Hot Springs in Dayman) is at Kilometer marker 480—all highways are measured from Kilometer Zero at Plaza Cagancha in Montevideo. (The US has a Zero point as well. It is called Washington, but nothing ever goes anywhere from there.) We were 14 people and 3 dogs in 4 vehicles. We actually went by Kilometer Zero as we wended our way out of the city using one of Santiago’s famous “short cuts” that usually take longer than using the main streets.

Nevertheless, we made our way out of town at in good time—about 10:30, which is incredibly early here and headed West on the Ruta 1, the main highway. Ruta 1 West connects Montevideo to Colonia del Sacramento and it is a splendid 4 lane divided highway for much of the way. Forty or fifty kilometers West of Montevideo we turned North on Ruta 3; on which we would stay for the rest of our trip. Ruta 3 is a two lane highway, but it is well paved, wide, and amply marked. Since the countryside is gently undulating agricultural land, there are no sharp turns on the rural sections of the highway, and very few in the small towns through which we travelled. The traffic was light and we moved at a faster pace than would have been acceptable on a US Interstate—but perfectly permissible on the German Autobahn…

There are several Police Stations along the route, but none of them had a police car in evidence, and I doubt they make many traffic stops using the mopeds that we did see. Maybe there are doughnut shops on the side roads where the local constabulary hang out?The first thing I noticed was that the countryside was rich and well-kept. The fields were fenced and the pastures were stocked with cattle or sheep (or sometimes with both). The majority of the time the road and side roads were tree lined. Some of the trees had been there for a very long time. I could have been travelling through the rich farmland of Illinois or elsewhere in the Midwestern US—except for one thing—there were no barns! What kind of farmland can there be without monstrous red, white, or brown barns replete with chewing tobacco ads painted on the side most visible from the road? Then I remembered that Florida is similarly barn less. I am guessing that the lack of barns is due to the lack of a seriously cold winter here. If the cows don’t have to stand in snow up to their udders, or the pastures aren’t covered in snow so they can’t graze, then a farmer probably doesn’t need a barn.

The next thing I remembered is that all of Uruguay lays North of Montevideo—and in this hemisphere, North is the warm side—the side nearer to the Equator. This was driven home to me as the number of Sabal palms was increasingly interspersed among the omnipresent Eucalyptus trees. (I am afraid that I still carry a Northern Hemisphere bias—I remember wondering to myself, “how far north is the Palm Line”; and then answering myself, “you dummy, the Palm line is somewhere South of us in Argentina”.)

Every few kilometers the road is bridged to cross a stream or small river. Most of them here are called “Arroyos”, which is pronounced ar-roh-shows. About halfway through the trip there is a beautiful recreational complex built alongside a large obviously artificial lake (being an expert on such things I immediately noted the dead bare trees sprouting from the lake—reminiscent of South Carolina’s Lake Marion)? The road signs called it “Arroyo Grande”, but the attached map makes it part of the Rio Negro…

Some of the Arroyos were “menos grande” (smaller), and I am told that is the summer, many of them will also be “sin agua” (waterless).

One other thing that struck me were the tree farms which stretched as far as the eye could see. There were tiny trees in tree nurseries, then larger one in tree kindergartens, all the way through Junior High, High School, university and even tree graduate school—where they turn them into pulp—exactly like what many universities do to the minds of their students…

The trip took us through three towns of note: San José, Trinidad and Young. San José has a population of about 37,000, Trinidad of 22,000, and Young about 18,000. San José and Young struck me as very nice small towns and—apologies to the Trinidadians—Trinidad as somewhat less so. (After this I may not be able to show my face in Departamento Flores—Trinidad is its capital city…)

Between Trinidad and Young there is a “Puente en obra”, a bridge under construction. It looks like it has been “en obra” for a very long time. There were a few men in evidence-presumably workmen, though none of them actually did anything concrete to prove the point. The bridge had only one lane open—the other lane precariously open to the arroyos in a jagged concrete and steel pattern most noticeable for its lack of any railing or other impediment to going over the side. In a country where maximizing the number of jobs is a national mania, one would have assumed the presence of at least two flag waving traffic controllers—but that was not so. Instead there were traffic lights on either end of the bridge that periodically changed color to let traffic flow the other way. The interval was set to a number of minutes—when we crossed on the way back it was long enough for everyone to get out of their cars, smoke a cigarette, take a short walk, and be back inside for the green light.

Two-thirds of the way along the route we stopped for lunch in Young—pronounced “shunggggg” like the sound of a giant sling shot. Our newest staff member, Rodrigo, is from Young, so he called ahead and made reservations for us at a place right on the highway call El Rancho. It is a “tenedor libre”—an All-You-Can-Eat buffet. The food was great, and I thoroughly enjoyed the first onion rings I had seen in Uruguay. We ate in a leisurely fashion, and then allowed the dogs a free run in the fields behind the restaurant.

About 90 minutes ( and several dozen arroyos) later, we crossed the Rio Dayman and were at the hot springs.

Considering the price, the provider and the location, everything should have been first class…

WRONG!

The first thing that was nostalgic was the chicken–it had been frozen and put away when I was still in diapers. The next item on the nostaligia top ten list was the free wine and whiskey–they were both so cheap and nasty that they reminded me of when I was young and poor and actually drank that stuff…

Then there was the music–it was a group doing oldies “a capella” (“without musical accompaniment” for those of you who are musically impaired). I love a capella singing. In the Orthodox Church no musical instruments are allowed except bells and we have many fine a capella choirs–some are so good they have been called “human pipe organs”.

I can say with metaphysical certainty however, that none of those guys were ever in an Orthodox Choir…nor any other respectable choir either.

Their singing was so bad that it was a cross between the sounds made by an alley cat being tortured and the chanting of some middle eastern shouter wearing underwear about 4 sizes too small. Mercifully, our table was next to a very noisy heater, so the racket from it covered up a portion of the caterwauling from the stage.

Despite all that, I am sure many of the people in the audience enjoyed the show–most of them were over 80 and probably couldn’t hear very well anyway…

I am sure Nostaliga Night it is great idea. It is supposed to be a fun time for people of all ages. Maybe next year we will have an experience to remember other than in our nightmares….

While sitting here in my office and staring into the fog on the Rio de la Plata I had a vision….

At first I was in a place that seemed a pleasant enough, but no matter how hard I tried it there were always obstacles that I had to climb over–the harder I climbed, the more obstacles there were, until one day I slipped and fell…

As I tumbled through space I tried to get my bearings: I finally landed alongside the river. This place seem bigger and prettier and certainly flatter than the place before it. But, it had a problem too: some of my friends were allergic to it, and every time I left it, I had a bigger and bigger hole in my pocket. It bothered me so much that I could not sleep. Finally, well after midnight, I fell into a fitful sleep while weighing the contradictions…

I awoke to a cacaphony of music and voices and found myself in the midst of a celebrating crowd–but the crowd was so big that I couldn’t move; I was caught like a sardine in a can with mustard sauce. The noise became so great that I shut my eyes and put both hands over my one good ear until I finally blacked out…

And lo, and behold when I awoke I was in familiar surroundings with a fireplace cheerfully crackling, my little dog Harry sleeping next to me, and my big dog Lucy at my feet.

None of that really happened! But, I thought it was kind of an artistic way of retelling the story of our peripatetic Sunday gatherings.

The time for a change has come again!

In fact, this time there will be two changes:

• First, the meeting with will be reincarnated from its Sunday life to a new life on Thursday; and,

• Second, the meeting will be trans-migrated from Don Pepperone to Casa de Southron, UruguayLiving.com’s office in Buceo.

• Instead of a Sunday brunch, we will host a Thursday happy hour from 6 to 9 p.m.

From the beginning we had hoped to have more Uruguayos participate in our get-togethers, but Sunday is a difficult day for them, as it is generally reserved for family events. Restaurants have proven unsatisfactory for one reason or another, but perhaps the worst feature was that it made it hard for people to talk to anyone except those seated nearby.

UruguayLiving.com will supply potables, both potent and otherwise, as well as basic snacks. Everyone is encouraged to bring along anything they would like to share.

There is plenty of parking on the street, and we have a newly built ramp in the front for wheelchair access.

People will be able to gather around the fireplace, or the card table; at the dart board or the foosball table.

Valiant though undoubtedly insufficient efforts will be made to accommodate both smokers and non-smokers–disputes will be resolved in the square circle according to the Marquis of Queensberry rules (that’s a joke, I think).

We purposely have chosen an early starting hour so that attending is convenient for people on their way home from work, is before the weekly “guys night out”, and well before the local Thursday night revelries begin at 10 or 11 o’clock.

This happy hour is open to everyone, and no reservations are required–we hope to see you here soon.

Don’t forget your favorite mantra: Ommmmmmmmmmm…

]]> http://www.uruguayliving.com/2007/05/21/reincarnated-and-transmigrated/feed/ 2 http://www.uruguayliving.com/2007/04/23/cinco-de-mayo-party/ http://www.uruguayliving.com/2007/04/23/cinco-de-mayo-party/#comments Mon, 23 Apr 2007 13:17:12 +0000 The Southron http://www.uruguayliving.com/2007/04/23/cinco-de-mayo-party/ In what some will undoubtedly see as yet another nefarious attempt to Anglicize Uruguayan society, to UruguayLiving.com gang will be sponsoring a “Cinco de Mayo” party on Saturday, May 5, starting at 6 p.m., at our offices in Buceo.

Appropriate Mexican food and drinks will be served.  Please feel free to bring along any of your own favorites add to our repast.

Everyone is welcome to attend: ex-pats, immigrants, Uruguayans– if you have been lurking around the edges of the forum and our meetings, this would be a good time to visit, as this may be the last party until the spring.

In order to figure how much food to make, we would appreciate it if you would RSVP Jimbo (a.k.a. Santiago) via PM on the forum, or e-mail at Jimbo@UruguayLiving.com, or by phone at 623-5547.

I hope to see all of you there!