While I am finally safely ensconced in my new home/office in Buceo, the Copperhead is almost homeless.  Despite the valiant efforts of a really good realtor, recommended by Deb (and who will be on our recommended list when our offices reopen), the Copperhead has twice in a row been shafted by unscrupulous landlords at the last minute after going to the time and expense of getting together all the pointless paperwork they wanted before renting the apartment.  The first landlord rented the apartment to someone else who paid a year in advance after already promising it to Copperhead.  The second one upped the price at the last minute because their daughter, who had just come home from Switzerland, told them that Americans should pay more.  In both cases, the landlords backed out, or changed the deal AFTER an agreement had been reached and the Copperhead had gotten together the paperwork they required.

In my case, I love my new house, but it is obvious that the landlord lied through her teeth on many issues.  Almost every one of my wooden roll down shutters requires attention, there are plumbing problems, and the electrical sockets have been so cheaply installed that when you unplug a light, the wall socket comes out in your hand.

After an knockdown drag out, no holds barred contract negotiation, which even included an inventory of the number and type of plants in the back garden, the landlord had the gall to say, “you should learn to trust people more”, after I caught her in at least three bald faced lies!

This again illustrates why I give the strong advice that I do, not to buy any real estate for the first year or two!  Renting is a lot of trouble, but has a clearly limited downside.  When you are buying and have not had the time and leisure to check out every angle yourself and through a trusted attorney and again through a trusted escribano (civil law notary), you could be buying a black hole that just eats up money for years to come.

My recommendation for buying or renting is to work simultaneously through or with multiple realtors and owners and then take the first acceptable deal that you can complete.  I wouldn’t worry about wasting the time of the other people, because save for rare exceptions they will have no problem wasting your time.

The bottom line is this: A) don’t make any assumptions; B) don’t believe anything anyone says without complete and current supporting documentation; C) make sure that you understand what is meant any time you are told, “that is the usual way it is done here”; and, D) remember, nothing is agreed to until everything is agreed to, and signed, sealed and delivered.

To end on a positive note, once you finally get in your home and get the initial repairs completed you should enjoy smooth sailing and should not be troubled by any outside interference.  In a way is very much like living in the old frontier–it takes a heck of a lot of work to get set up, but after that, people leave you alone.  For me, that makes all the hassle worth it, at least in retrospect…

We planned everything to perfection!  We would first move only two ADSL lines into the new house and leave one at the old house as a contingency.  All the orders were placed early enough and installation was confirmed for the day of the move.  The phone lines to connect the ADSL are in and working, and have been since Tuesday.  All of the paperwork to move the ADSL lines has been filed with Antel.  Every day Santiago called Antel to make sure the transfer would occur smoothly–every day he was told it would, until yesterday.

That was when we found out that everything was on hold until Antel is able to process the fact that the Copperhead’s passport number changed because his old passport had expired and he got a new one.  This was just too much for Antel to deal with, so the entire project was halted until Antel’s administrative apparatus, (undoubtedly the governmental version of a Rube Goldberg machine) can “approve” the change in number.

My question is this:  what happens if Antel does not approve the change?  Is Copperhead supposed to go to the Yankee Embassy and ask for a new passport number that Antel will approve?

I am completely befuddled, in fact, believe it or not, I was almost speechless, except for a few words that would have made the average chief petty officer blush.

The bottom line is that I am trapped!  They have promised to install the ADSL on Tuesday, December 26^th—Boxing Day—maybe that’s because the ADSL modems come in boxes?

Otherwise, the move went pretty well, most things arrived within 24 hours or so of the time promised.  My family got in today on time without incident—for which I am grateful.

Five days until ADSL—I am already having withdrawal symptoms.

My great-grandmother always said, one door never closes before another opens, and that proved to be right this time.  My guardian angel has undoubtedly been working overtime.  On Tuesday, we found a new house.

By Tuesday afternoon, the pre-contract was signed, and all the terms were agreed upon.  This house is already air-conditioned throughout, and has been completely remodeled.  The location is wonderful: it overlooks the Marina at Buceo.  The best part about the view is that it is across a park, so no condo towers will spring up between me and the Rio de la Plata.  It is one block in from the Rambla, just east of the Buceo Cemetery, and West of Aduana Oribe.

This house is big enough for offices, my residence, and for Sociedad Southron gatherings.  The kitchen is very big and the patio, garden and parillero are all goodly sized.

We will have to have a housewarming, new book celebration, and Sociedad Southron organizational meeting all in one After the New Year.

So, unless you hear a very loud scream between now and Monday afternoon, you could assume that I will indeed be home for Christmas in Buceo.

We found a great house in Pocitos, on a 2 block long street, which in turn is just two blocks off of Avenida Brasil. 90% or more of the people I know in Uruguay live within 3 km of the house. It will have offices in the front, private quarters in the back, and a 300 m²(3200 ft.²) walled backyard, with a barbecue pit in a covered patio at the back end of a lot. It will be great for entertaining and the dogs will certainly love it.

I get to move in one week from now, and my family arrives from Florida one week later. In the meantime all we have to do is install air conditioners, cable the entire house for Internet and phones, build a handicapped accessible bathroom for me, and buy a house full of furniture.

Other than that, I have nothing to do, except little things like running my businesses, writing blogs, etc.
It sort of reminds me of an old Alan Sherman poem, which goes something like this:

Birdie, birdie in the sky, why you do that in my eye?
I’m a good boy, I don’t cry.
Gee, I’m glad that cows don’t fly.

Several times now, they want to try to better the deal once they find an American is involved.  The last one was the funniest.  The owners want to move to Carrasco and I want to move to Pocitos.  For me to get in, they have to get out.  They found a house that they really like, but it is a bit above their budget.  So, instead of bargaining with their prospective landlord, we got a call asking if “we would please be so kind as to pay a higer rent so they can afford the house they want”.  No kidding!

Since the secret is now out of the bag, I decided to tell Santiago the truth.  I dug into the bottom of my cigar box and showed him the printing plates for the $100 bill each American is given at birth, so that we can print our own money… you mean you didn’t get yours?  Oops!

Anyway, we finally have a draft contract on the house, which is being checked by a friendly escribano.  If it is OK, we will close the deal tomorrow and I will move in on the 15th, a full six days before my family arrives.

Happy Christmas!

The same house is offered for rent at different prices by different realtors. If the house is in a barrio that is a bit less desirable than its neighbor, then the house is listed as being in the more pretigious barrio next door. I found one house listed in 3 different barrios. The advertised size of the house, in square meters, includes anything with a roof over it, including the dog house and mail box. The size of the land attached does or does not include the land occupied by the house (you have to guess which). The stated cost of utilities can be flat out fiction, as can be the availability of things like natural gas, TV cable, and even ADSL. Just because the realtor says so, doesn’t mean it is even close to being true–check with the service provider directly.

There is no licensing for realtors and certainly no code of ethics. While YOU pay them, they mostly work to get the best deal for themselves. Since their commission is 1 months rent, they have no incentive whatsoever to negotiate a reduction on your behalf with the landlord, nor for that matter to even pass your offers on to the landlord. One way we have found to mitigate this problem is by promising to pay the realtor their fee at the posted rate of the rental, even if we negotiate a lower rental rate.

All things considered, nothing I have written thus far really annoys me. What does drive me crazy is the local idea that “nothing is agreed to until everything is agreed to” and then “it still isn’t agreed to until it is signed”.

Repeatedly we have set forth our special requirements BEFORE we go to look at a property–in my case mostly accessability issues. They agree beforehand or indicate that they will have no issues with those needs. When we look at the house, they are anxious for us to rent it ASAP. Then they decide they are not too happy about paying to make anything accessible–then they aren’t too happy about even letting us pay to make it accessable–then they lose interest in the deal, by which time we have wasted 3 days.
This has happened over and over and over again. I must have been really lucky with this first rental, because we did not go through this then…

So, at this point, I have two entirely different places under active negotiations–15 kilometers part–at vastly different prices–and I am still looking for more.

With 40 days left, I have no choice but to pick up the pace…