I figured out why so many people think Uruguay is boring: there isn’t enough spectacular crime here! Sure, there are run-of-the-mill purse snatchings, amateurish muggings, inept burglaries, some very boring occasional robberies gone bad, and the usual tawdry crimes of passion. But compared to some of the places I’ve lived, Uruguay’s crimes are BORING!
In Costa Rica, gangs would crash 4×4s through metal security gates and hold children at gunpoint until their parents emptied their wallets and their safes. In the West Indies, people would get chopped up with machetes; sometimes to be used as fish bait, and other times simply for the love of the sport! In the Balkans, people have been known to be kidnapped, with bits of fingers and toes sent back to their families until the ransom is paid. In some parts of South America, the police are in obvious collusion with the kidnappers–certainly an innovative way of increasing the police retirement fund. (My staff have instructions to refuse to pay any ransom if I am kidnapped, but rather to demand that the criminals must keep me unless they pay my staff to take me back–we figure 3 days maximum, before they resort to robbing their children’s piggy banks to get rid of me.)
In June 2003, 15 armed men, three of whom had police badges, broke into my house in Podgorica, Montenegro; stole everything I owned, broke open my safe, drove away my cars, and forced me out of the country at gunpoint with only my dog, my laptop, my client records and my clothes. Now that is real crime!
One only has to turn to any US daily newspaper to randomly find stories of robbery, rapine, torture and murder: all on a grander, and certainly more photogenic scale than anything perpetrated by the Vandals, the Huns, or even the conquerors of the New World. Things have gotten so out of hand that in any city big enough to have its own daily newspaper, a simple run-of-the-mill murder no longer makes the front page (except perhaps during the “dog days” of summer).
Maybe Uruguay could develop a training program for criminals–after all it has is school, faculty, or certificate for just about everything else. I’m not talking about a mere breeding ground for crime, like the shantytowns in the poorer sections; but real first-class schools of criminal education like the US penal system which incarcerates 1 out of every 200 US residents. With that kind of felonious infrastructure Uruguay could really develop a world-class environment for crime.
Think of what that would do for the economy: a security guard on every block, wrought iron roofs to connect to the existing wrought iron gates and walls, two or three new security monitoring companies, more insurance adjusters, expanded use of emergency rooms, and even an upsurge in the mortuary business.
Maybe being boring isn’t so bad after all…
All joking aside, lately I have received a lot of email regarding crime in Uruguay—some of it no doubt spurred by my own recent experiences. As noted, I have lived outside the US for almost a decade. I lived on 2 islands in the West Indies, Montenegro in former Yugoslavia, and Costa Rica before moving here. Of all of the places I have lived, Uruguay definitely has the lowest crime rate.
I just wrote this to someone earlier today and it bears repeating:
There are certainly areas that are more crime prone than others, and that is something that you need to ask about in every locality. That being said, there are two things that I want to call to your attention. First, most crime here is against things not people. And, second, Latin America generally has a lower respect for property rights than in the Anglo-Saxon world, hence crimes of opportunity such as purse snatching, burglaries in empty houses, etc., are realities of life, with which the locals deal effectively. So while you see walls and gates and window bars throughout the country you begin to understand that they are there to protect things and not people. Even in my wheelchair, even alone on the street late at night, I have never felt threatened. All of that being taking into account, I plan on staying here.
Even if crime is getting worse, it is getting worse more slowly than other places and starting from a much lower base!
What areas of Montevideo are more prone to crime? I’ve read Old Town has its pick-pockets; any other standouts?
>>I would be particularly careful in Ciudad Vieja and most of all in Centro which is probably the most dangerous for pick-pockets. Also, Avenida Italia seems to be a demarcation line with more crime North of it than South of it–but this is just my observation, not something statistical. It seems like the second greatest number of crimes are home burgleries–especially when they are vacant for a while.
–the Southron
Left by fiberman on January 16th, 2007